As noted in an email to me: "Hey, I went to your site looking for toasts and didn't find any. What gives? Thanks to you, my sister's wedding to Mack the Vice President of Marketing and Full-Service at the corner Pump-n-Go station was ruined. Thanks...
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As noted in an email to me: "Hey, I went to your site looking for toasts and didn't find any. What gives? Thanks to you, my sister's wedding to Mack the Vice President of Marketing and Full-Service at the corner Pump-n-Go station was ruined. Thanks alot, Jerkface!" So, to make amends, here are some toasts I came up with after several hours of irresponsible binge drinking: Wedding Toasts: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA." "[Insert groom's name here], I raise my glass to you in congratulations. You've been a wonderful friend to me for so many years, through good times and bad. You always went out of your way to bail me out when I've needed it, and held tough when I tried to do the wrong thing. You'll always be a brother to me. And, [Insert bride's name here], man you have a great ass." Birthday Toasts: "Everyone raise their wine glass, even the five year olds, yeah, get them something to drink." "I think we can all agree that this birthday would have alot less memorable if I hadn't puked on the... See less 
