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May 25, 2009 in Fashion

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So i have a friend, one of THOSE people that calls you while they're in the middle of a party just to let you know that you weren't invited, and then they pass the phone off to one of your other friends that is there, and then you try to invite yourself over and your other friend says totally, and you hear THAT friend in the background yell NO! (yes this actually happened to me). I have to live with this though, 1. because i go to a small school
2. well you can kinda tolerate it

When you invite her somewhere, she tells everyone the next day, making you look like *())_&^

She has selective memory bringing up the stupid things you did a year after it happened but when you think of something REALLY stupid that she did she says she doesnt remember.

When people give her compliments she turns to you and says, you dont know how many times i get that, and then tells everyone else the compliment she got.

She does and wears everything that everyone else has/does (such as uggs)

Someone PLEASE tell me what to do! i dont want to look like a jerk but ive had it up to here (imagine 5 foot 5)

The ironic thing is that (another thing) we have tried out for our school tennis team 2 times, she hasnt made it yet. not to be mean but this year we even had the upper hand of being older too. so she shouldnt be boasting about everything. i have the upper hand on the athletic front.

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Comments (19)

First thing you need to do is take it easy, secondly... don't give much thought to it. Immaturity and lack of empathy and respect for others go hand in hand. Your friend needs all this attention and flattery to make herself feel good. Insecurity and hollowness fill her mind. This is a self-destructive path that looks for partners. Don't follow it and don't bother with it. Instead of wasting your time worrying about it spend your time in cultivating yourself. Hone a skill of yours, learn to play an instrument, another language, something you really like and are good at. Don't hold ill thoughts to you friend either, you will feel liberated. Best wishes. Report Spam Posted by xtinctor (Baja Real Estate Group) at 4:53 PM on 05/25/09
do you have better friends? if so, then it's time to ditch her!!! she's obviously not some one worth hanging around with for the rest of your school days. simply tell her that you're sorry that she is so insecure that she needs to put you down, that you have other friends who actually respect you that you'd rather hang with, and that if she ever wants to be your friend again, she needs to trreat you like a friend not a pet. (and if she's the kind of erson that will spread rumors about her tell her that you don't care what she says--even if you do. don't let her know that you are intimidated by her and don't let her feel like she has control of you) it's tough, but i've been in those situations and i dont regret speaking for myself :] good luck! Report Spam Posted by crayola09 at 5:32 PM on 05/25/09
well im not sure if she is even your friend.....friends are people who loves you and is always there for you,friends are not people who make you look like a kerk............ i guess what you can do is not being her friend anymore or write a letter(if you don't have the nerve to tell her right in her face) saying that you don't want to be her friend anymore because of what she did or if she still wants to be your friend tell her to change...... Report Spam Posted by hancutie261 at 5:43 PM on 05/25/09
Someone that treats you like this will probably not change. People are the way they are, and unfortunately, your friend is mean to you and seems to be happy when she brings you down. Seeing as how you go to a small school, telling her that you don't want to be her friend anymore might be a little drastic because if it really is a tiny school then you never know if people in school will pick sides. ( I went to a tiny tiny elementary school and if you pissed off one person, everyone knew about it!) A better alternative would be to generally distance yourself from her. Hang out with other friends. Don't call her to hang out, and if she calls you, maybe don't answer her calls. She'll probably notice. Use her reaction to gauge where to proceed. If she's lame about it, ("like, oh, look at zippers, what a bitch, she thinks she's too good for me and won't talk to me anymore") then she's really not worth your time. She might be mean about it, and if that's the case, then you can stand up for yourself and say something like, "See, you talking about me is the EXACT REASON I stopped trying to be friends with you. If you really were my friend, you wouldn't be treating me like this." On the other hand, if she approaches you, and says "hey, I noticed we don't hang out that much or talk on the phone any more. I miss you. What's up?" Then maybe you should talk to her and tell her how you feel. Tell her that you feel like she singles you out and makes you feel foolish in front of your friends, and that it really hurts your feelings. Realistically, this girl seems like she's very insecure and needs to make herself feel good by pointing out what she thinks are her assets (like when she repeats compliments. I'm sure she hopes that when she repeats a compliment, she's hoping that the person she tells it to will agree, therefore giving her an ego boost.) If she's that insecure about herself, then she's probably not going to get any better. She's being malicious to you (whether she means it or not), and that is a sign of a very bad friend. Your friends should love you and accept you for who you are. There's nothing wrong with telling a story of stupid stuff that you might have done, as long as it's in good fun, and not at the expense of you feeling bad about yourself. I wish you the best of luck. I've been in similar situations, and they are no fun. I'm currently extricating myself from a friendship and while it can be hard, it's ultimately worth it in the long run because I don't need crummy people in my life. You don't either! Report Spam Posted by anitapitabread at 6:22 PM on 05/25/09
she's not a good friend! you shouldn't be waisting your time with someone who isn't worth it. I agree with crayola09 and mishaa... you should ditch her. Report Spam Posted by gabyee at 6:22 PM on 05/25/09
aah. I rambled. sorry! Report Spam Posted by anitapitabread at 6:22 PM on 05/25/09
I used to have a similar problem with a friend in my old high school, who was a compulsive liar/bragger. Being frank didn't work, and I never pushed the issue because I knew she had issues in her past that I had no business bringing up (we weren't that close). However, since I left, other friends have told me that they've stopped talking to her completely because the lying has gotten so bad, and the girl doesn't care about preserving friendships, just getting her way. It was strange to hear because I thought I was the only one who she tried to make feel inferior - but it turns out we all just went along with it. So if this girl's doing this sort of stuff to you, she's probably doing it to others as well. When she starts treating you badly again, call her on it (as politely as you can manage). She'll probably revert right into a defensive mode and deny it, but chances are she'll be embarrassed enough to think twice before she lets something slip again. If she is treating other people the same way and they just aren't talking about it, no one will think badly of you for asking her to stop. Report Spam Posted by nobodymesseswithadamwe at 6:43 PM on 05/25/09
That is not a friend, its a frenemy! She is just a jealous insecure girl. I would just cut my losses and cross her of my list of friends. Report Spam Posted by swfd36 at 6:51 PM on 05/25/09
Forget her girl, life is too short to deal with pettyness. Report Spam Posted by bellitude at 7:42 PM on 05/25/09
I had a friend like that in junior high, and, since my school was small and she was the popular girl, everyone sided with her any time she got mad at me or our other friends. By the time we went to high school it had gotten so bad that I ignored her completely and made an entire new group of friends that didn't interact with her at all. I was lucky in that our high school was big enough that I could do that. I don't know what grade you're in, or how close you are to finishing school and going to college, but if it's close, try to ride it out and take it in stride. I agree that you shouldn't stoop to her level. If you rise above it, people will notice and think more of you and less of her because they'll see what's going on. Good luck! Report Spam Posted by gregsgal at 7:46 AM on 05/26/09
My little sister has a problem just like yours. She met a girl in pre school and they've been together since. This friend pushes her around because my little sister is too sweet to tell her no. My mom always tells my sister that she should do something about it. This girl will keep getting what she wants unless someone takes charge. Never be rude or disrespectful, but don't let her ruin your life. Report Spam Posted by keeperofsouls at 8:00 AM on 05/26/09
she should just be an associate. you`re friends but you`re friends from a distance. Even though it may be a small school they`re are a LOT of more people that you can bhe friends with. Like the ones one Kaboodle! Report Spam Posted by danni6 at 9:59 AM on 05/26/09
How incredibly mean! I had a friend who pulled that when I was in the 8th grade--calling me from a party to brag about how much fun she was having (my mom didn't allow me to go). It's amazing how I remember that all these years later bc she was my bff at the time. I've learned that people who do these types of things are highly insecure. Report Spam Posted by jinnyjinn at 11:30 AM on 05/26/09
Be nice to her, but don't go out of your way to spend time with her. You don't need that kind of "negative energy" in your life. Report Spam Posted by newsgirl057 at 11:31 AM on 05/26/09
I know exactly how you feel. I just recently ditched a friend like this. Well there was more to it than these things but she was like that. And although I didnt enjoy the short spell of drama which i ended and she kept up, I am so much better now that she isnt in my life making stuff up. So my advice to you is its time to leave. People like her will always try to suck up your confidence and leave you with nothing. You have better friends that actually care about you. =] Report Spam Posted by dreapuff at 12:02 PM on 05/26/09
I wouldn't hang out with her. I would not let her think she has any power over me. If she was rude jst keep your head high. Be the better person. In the long run you'll be glad you were. If she goes to far ...talk to her and tell her how it is and that its not fair to be rude. Hoped this helped ! Report Spam Posted by alysiawho at 1:30 PM on 05/26/09
as my mom would say, "kill her with kindness!" :) i mean if its getting this bad i would get a different friend! that's awful that happened! Report Spam Posted by happie2smile at 5:12 PM on 05/26/09
I agree with swfd36! She's not a real friend if she keeps doing that to you. I think you should talk to her, and of that doesn't work, hang out with some of your other friends! Hope i helped Report Spam Posted by ultranerd101 at 10:26 AM on 05/27/09
Unless she's your sister....stay away from her, be busy when she calls. Not mean, just not available. If this was a once in a while thing....we all make mistake....but if it is ALL THE TIME....this "friend" is not good for you. Report Spam Posted by paws72 at 10:29 PM on 06/01/09