Sisters in law troubles...sigh.

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Nov 25, 2008

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That's Piggles! He needed some kaboodle love too :o)

Alright, since you girls gave me so much support on my freaking out about name change thing, i wanted to ask you about how to get along with sister in law. I have 2 older brothers and grew up with them and my dad. I am SO not used to girl issues and sisters and things like that! Rob's got 3 sisters: Jayne, Megan and Catherine. I get along great with Jayne & Megan, they've helped me a lot with the wedding and we can actually hang out. Unfortunately, Catherine and I have hated each other since the moment we met. About 3 months after Rob & I started dating, Catherine moved back home (at 27, her bf left her). I think her unhappiness with her own life situation was taken out on me. Rob is 6 years older than me and she is constantly making fun of my age. She's very bossy and has called me every name in the book- fat, bitch, dumb, all of that. She even went so far as to call me "the devil" because we're not getting married in a church...and she's not even religious!

Rob & I have been dating for 4 years now and are getting married. Catherine and I still do not get along. I get anxious even being in the same room as her, she's such a bully! I know that it upsets rob that we don't get along, but its hard to be nice to someone who has been mean to you for 4 years! I'm not outwardly mean to her and our relationship has changed to a mutual hatred where we try not to talk or acknowledge eachother. She's now dating her brother-in-law's cousin (so if they had a kid, Mike would be both the kids uncle and cousin!) and she's furious that Rob & I are getting married before her. She's the only Carrick kid left that is not married.

Anyways, I really want to get over this stupid fued we have. How do you guys deal with sister in laws? or bullies? I don't want to spend the rest of my life uncomfortable in situations with my new family!

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Comments (12)

Aww.. I can't even imagine my Lisa Kate getting pushed around like that! Haha. You're too sweet for anyone to hate you =) Unfortunately, I don't think I'll have very good advice. Lol. I don't have any in-laws that I don't get along with. As for bullies, I'm the type to get walked over easily.. Lol. I'm too nice. And I suck at standing up for myself to people I don't know too well. /sigh. Haha. I would say just to try to find as much common ground as possible. Compliment her on things, invite her to go places. And if she's still a bitch, take her aside and ask her what the hell is wrong with her! Lol. If it still doesn't work, just start being mean back and rub it in that she's still not married so she gets a taste of her own medicine! Lol. I'm just throwing stuff out there. If it were me, I'd just keep ignoring her and hope she moves away soon or something! Lol Report Spam Posted by lizzieizzie at 12:48 PM on 11/25/08
Either pull her aside and say i'm getting married to your brother and your going to have to let our grudge go or ignore her. If possible use her other sisters to make her realize that she has to stop being rude to you. Report Spam Posted by tfox4599 (www.sogeshirts.com) at 12:52 PM on 11/25/08
Well, I am sure you have but I would tell Rob that he needs to talk to her and set her straight. You shouldn't have to deal with this problem all by yourself. Definitely don't put up with it. She knows she is getting away with being mean to you and so she will continue to if you don't stop it. Let her know that she is not allowed in your house after your are married and that's that unless she straightens up. You do not have to be her friend or anyone elses that treats you like that! You are worth much more than that and deserve only the best! Report Spam Posted by nlw1234 at 1:01 PM on 11/25/08
Don't worry about her. One, she'll probably never change. Two, your hubby is gonna have to understand the problems are on her end and that you have tried to be as congenial as possible. Three, you're gonna have to kill her with kindness. Just grin and bear it for now. And your husband is really the one who needs to talk to her...... Report Spam Posted by vntgbabe at 1:49 PM on 11/25/08
Soon-to-be husband, I should say. ;-) Report Spam Posted by vntgbabe at 1:50 PM on 11/25/08
eep! Sounds like we're in the same boat! Well similar! It is my fiance's step mom that hates me for some odd reason, probably because I'm happy? She's called me all the names in the book and I've actually have been debating on if I should even invite her to the wedding because I don't want her bitterness to affect the happy atmosphere. BUT that'd be really rude and I want to be nice to her, but it's hard! I'd do just what tfox4599 said and pull her aside. Explain that you know that you two have struggled getting along in the past, but you want nothing more than to have her as a sister in law that supports you and you supporting her. Say you understand it's been hard for her, but you don't have any feelings against her. If you approach her nicely and calmly, and she becomes a bitch, then hey you tried. I'd just say after that ultimately her current position is her own choice, but she can't change your choices. She should be happy for you! Damn. I'm sorry! Let me know how it goes! I know I have yet to confront Brent's (my fiance) step mom. I'm nervouss! Report Spam Posted by prettykerosene at 2:10 PM on 11/25/08
oh man, i wish i could give you awesome advice, but i honestly don't know what to tell you. all i know is that no matter how hard you try, if the effort isn't mutual, there's nothing that can be done. your best bet is to just be civil with her for your soon-to-hubby's sake. even if she says anything to you, just bite your tongue and show her that you're the mature one. maybe she'll come around eventually. good luck! Report Spam Posted by brittknee at 3:50 PM on 11/25/08
Ouch. Tough situation. I don't really have any good advice. If I were in that situation though, I'd flat out tell her to f*%$ off and to not speak to me until she gets over what ever her problem is. Good luck. Report Spam Posted by hophead at 3:59 PM on 11/25/08
Seriously, don't tell her to f$$ off. Obviously she's not the happiest and saying something like that would just let her justify and legitimize the way she feels about you. It also puts your fiance in a very awkward situation and sets the stage for years of crappiness. I would just be honest with her and say that you don't understand why you two don't get along but that for her brother's sake it would mean a lot to you if she'd give you a chance. This way if she continues to be terrible there's no way she can make you look bad and your kindness might also make her feel a bit guilty for how she's been. Report Spam Posted by jaxselby at 6:14 PM on 11/25/08
Yikes. I wish I knew what to tell you. I hope you find some kind of peace about this. Report Spam Posted by alicatstrut at 9:01 AM on 11/26/08
That's so cute! Report Spam Posted by strsinthesky at 3:54 AM on 11/28/08
I agree 100% with hophead on this one. Report Spam Posted by lamerchick at 8:36 AM on 11/29/08