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  • Red Logo Tote
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    Red Logo Tote

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    Black / - $ 20.00 available at gomerch.com

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  • The Con Vinyl LP
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    The Con Vinyl LP

    SIDE ONE I Was Married Relief Next To Me The Con Knife Going In Are You Ten Years Ago Back In Your Head Hop A Plane SIDE...

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    $20.00 CDN available at maplemusic.com

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Penguin Stuff

Gift Certificates

Charity

Ridiculously Expensive Things

T-Shirts

  • Paint a picture,...
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    Paint a picture, it'll take longer.

    Paint a picture, it'll take longer..

    $15 Tee available at typetees.com

    Priority: 
    Size: XL
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  • Guys' Sea Horse tee
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    • Most my shirt size requirements are in women's sizes. Just this one specifically is supposed to be in men's size.
      Posted by elsh at 7:31 PM on 6/15/09

    Guys' Sea Horse tee

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    available at anhorse.acmeprints.com

    Priority: 
    Size: M
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  • TypeTees - T-shirt: The...
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    TypeTees - T-shirt: The best kept...

    The best kept secret is the one you don't know about.

    $15 Tee available at typetees.com

    Priority: 
    Size: XL
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  • I'm So Adjective, I...
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    I'm So Adjective, I Verb Nouns

    T-shirt, sold at toothpastefordinner.com for $16

    T-shirt, sold at... available at rumplo.com

    Priority: 
    Size: XL
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  • I'm really awesome at...
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    I'm really awesome at being humble.

    Typeface: Hubbard by Joe Baldwin Share this tee:

    $15 Tee available at typetees.com

    Priority: 
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  • Womens Black Long Sleeve...
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    Womens Black Long Sleeve T-shirt

    Choose an option: Small Our Price: $21.98 Stylish 100% cotton, women's shirt from American Apparel. Features "stamp...

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    Choose an option: Small Our... available at scarabcart.com

    Priority: 
    Size: XL
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  • Womens U-Neck Lyric...
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    Womens U-Neck Lyric T-shirt

    Choose an option: Small Our Price: $16.99 Stylish 100% cotton shirt from American Apparel. Features a deep U-neck, 1/2...

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    available at scarabcart.com

    Priority: 
    Size: XL
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  • "Useless...
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    "Useless Superpowers" - T-shirt by...

    If they buy, you earn $3.00 in points! You'd love this! Buy this for me!

    available at threadless.com

    Priority: 
    Size: XL
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  • "Russian...
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    "Russian Newborn" - Cute,...

    A t-shirt by Blake Suarez titled Russian Newborn made with 5-color screen print, plastisol ink and a chino additive for...

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    available at threadless.com

    Priority: 
    Size: XL
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  • Nice Boobies by Seth...
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    Nice Boobies by Seth Kirkendall

    A t-shirt by Seth Kirkendall titled Nice Boobies made with plastisol ink and a chino additive for softness

    available at threadless.com

    Priority: 
    Size: XL
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  • I am a fan T-Shirt
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    I am a fan T-Shirt

    Simple and gets the point across. this stylish piece will let everyone know you prefer to be flame-free. | Product...

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    available at printfection.com

    Priority: 
    Size: M
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  • "Adultery" -...
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    "Adultery" - Funny, Food, Nerdy,...

    A t-shirt by Jean-sébastien Deheeger titled Adultery made with plastisol ink and a chino additive for softness

    available at threadless.com

    Priority: 
    Size: XL
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  • Rock is dead and paper...
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    Rock is dead and paper killed it.

    Typeface: Custom Type by Ross Zietz

    $15 Tee / $40 Hoody available at typetees.com

    Priority: 
    Size: XL
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  • I 'occasionally'...
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    I 'occasionally' use air quotes.

    I 'occasionally' use air quotes..

    $15 Tee available at typetees.com

    Priority: 
    Size: XL
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  • I supplement my...
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    I supplement my personality with...

    Typeface: Futura by Paul Renner

    $15 Tee available at typetees.com

    Priority: 
    Size: XL
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  • Nostalgia was better in...
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    Nostalgia was better in the old...

    Nostalgia was better in the old days..

    $15 Tee available at typetees.com

    Priority: 
    Size: XL
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  • The definition of...
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    The definition of suspense is...

    The definition of suspense is....

    $15 Tee available at typetees.com

    Priority: 
    Size: XL
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  • My career as a psychic...
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    My career as a psychic ended due to...

    My career as a psychic ended due to unforeseen circumstances.

    $15 Tee available at typetees.com

    Priority: 
    Size: XL
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  • The internet was closed...
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    The internet was closed so I...

    The internet was closed so I thought I'd come outside today..

    $15 Tee available at typetees.com

    Priority: 
    Size: XL
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  • #2 is #1 if You're a...
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    #2 is #1 if You're a Pencil

    Fact. In the first #2 pencil's diary, there is only one entry: "First is the worst, second is the best."

    $18.95 $13.95 available at snorgtees.com

    Priority: 
    Size: XL
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  • Thesaurus
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    Thesaurus

    This dinosaur was the first dork of the Jurassic period.

    $18.95 available at snorgtees.com

    Priority: 
    Size: XL
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  • It's Okay Pluto
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    It's Okay Pluto

    It's Okay Pluto, I'm Not A Planet Either.

    $18.95 available at snorgtees.com

    Priority: 
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  • Haiku T-Shirt
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    Haiku T-Shirt

    If you get the joke, then this shirt is quite funny. You should buy the shirt.

    $18.95 available at snorgtees.com

    Priority: 
    Size: XL
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  • I Only Like NY As A...
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    I Only Like NY As A Friend

    I mean, I like NY. I just don't LIKE like NY.

    $18.95 available at snorgtees.com

    Priority: 
    Size: XL
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  • Piñatas, Victims...
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    Piñatas, Victims of Child Abuse

    The sad part is if they didn't eat so much candy this kind of thing wouldn't happen. Save $4 off the normal price this...

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    $14.95 available at snorgtees.com

    Priority: 
    Size: XL
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Books

  • Lucky Man: A Memoir...
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    Lucky Man: A Memoir (Paperback)

    Amazon.com: Lucky Man: A Memoir: Michael J. Fox: Books

    You Save: $2.80 (22%) available at amazon.com

    Priority: 
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