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Nefarious Cupcake

Never underestimate the power of sarcasm, or a high limit credit card.
A blogazine by nefarious_cupcake
Nov 30, 2008
http://farm3.static.flick...

////NOTICE: This is an email/rant about the amount of spam I've been getting... if you're sending spam, READ THIS! If you're not sending spam, READ THIS, you MAY BE sending spam and not realize it so I want to clue you in. If you HATE spam and have been getting fed up with this too...well... you're probably buried in spam emails and don't have time to read this, so move along.. nothing to see here. /////



OK. I've had it. It was annoying to get 4 thousand emails about style boards, but I figured while the contest was going on it was inevitable. Now, the contest has been over for quite some time and I feel the need to let you in on something; If we're friends with you and you make a new style board, it SHOWS US A NOTICE ON OUR HOME PAGE. I don't need an email telling me that you made your 102nd style board. Honestly, the thrill is over and I'm not interested. Stop please.


On a similar note; if you put a new Blogazine post PLEASE make the title of your email something other than “Check out my new Blogazine post”. Yes yes, I understand that's the default email when you send it, but you do have the ability to change it and make the email specific to the post you wrote. Do that please. We are all intelligent, sentient beings here. Well.. all of us except for the spammers, which brings me to my next issue;


Petitions, sign ups, chain mails? NO! Bad! Stop it! It's irritating and causes me to cringe every time I see your name in my inbox. Do you really want to have that sort of effect on people? Honestly... do you want people here to snicker and laugh and think of you as a complete ninny? No... Unless your a complete ninny, you do not. So again... STOP. Stop right this second and attempt to regain some of your dignity.


You may say, Jenna? Why so angry? What's with the case of the Mondays? Well let me tell you what my final straw was this morning. Sitting down with my cereal and my Mocha Latte all happy to be alive.. opening Kaboodle to see what cool things have been found by my Internet friends.. only to be hit with the email "Puppy Beaten to Death! Please read and sign”.


Are you Fu*&ing kidding me??!


I do NOT log on to Kaboodle hoping to get the latest and greatest news on beaten/abused/dead animals. I don't want to hear about it. It honestly bothers me to such a point that I've asked people I know never to send me that stuff. I agonize over it for hours.. wondering what kind of person could actually do that to an animal in their care. I'm assuming those people also send spam mail, but that may be a bit harsh.


If you're going to send me something, at least send me something mildly amusing. Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending this stuff out. Chances are it's your own unpopularity.


SO.. please. Please reconsider being immensely irritating when sending email. Please think, just for a few moments, do I REALLY want to be that person? Do I want to be thought of as Zippy the Wonder Spammer?


Kalokohan - For your horrendous Dead Puppy email...You're off the friend list. Sorry, thanks for playing. KTHXBYE.


Sorry for the Sunday Morning rant.. dead puppies before coffee can do that to a person.

Nov 22, 2008
Natural Harvest - A...
(WARNING: sensitive subject below, if you're not amused by a wee bit o' the derty, stop reading now!)

I'm so shocked and.. well... grossed out, that I can't even come up with something snarky/witty about this product.

My only thought is that this would be a way to get around having your in-laws to dinner much... Simply leave this out in your kitchen and see how fast mom-in-law runs out screaming... I'm willing to think she'll leave skid marks out the door. I know I would.

I have to say that I'm fairly food adventurous. I love snails, squid, have tried frogs legs and quail eggs. But load up a plate of baby batter and expect me to eat the little swimmers?? No freakin' way.

Here's something worse... someone actually PUBLISHED this.

"Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants."

     I was totally unaware that this substance was readily available at my local diners and eateries. I'll never eat in a restaurant again.

"Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food."

     Heh... this writer apparently has never seen "Throbin' Hood, Prince of Beaves".

"
Once you overcome any initial hesitation, you will be surprised to learn how wonderful semen is in the kitchen. "

     Umm. I wouldn't call it "initial hesitation", I'd call it OH GROSS, NASTY, EW!!!   BTW... I find that quote really creepy... I'm willing to bet the writer has a voice much like Hannibal Lector.

ANYWAY... I was terribly grossed out and felt the need to share (because for some reason if you're grossed out and share it with others, it doesn't seem so bad). so HA... now YOU'RE stuck with the knowledge this vile book exists, just like I am! Muahahaha!!!
Nov 4, 2008
I think I need an intervention. I see the LOLcat pictures and I'm totally transfixed. Now, I will say, I don't like the really lame "LOL Speak"  people often type in the images, but seriously, I'm addicted to looking through all the pictures.

It may be because I'm a crazy old cat lady, but if I make the mistake of clicking onto a site with these cute kitty pictures I'm doomed. Stuck for a good hour clicking through them while making obnoxious cooing sounds and sometimes even talking baby talk. *UGH!* Honestly, it's humiliating.

I've been in a crowd of friends discussing the "I can has a cheezeburger" thing... and I dis the entire thing while acting superior and unaffected. But at night while my husband is in his office I find myself sitting here watching SciFi Channel and going through page after page of the adorable little furry faces. Sometimes even getting angry at seeing someone's cat stuck in a bad situation, or people who let their poor kitties become disgustingly obese. What is WRONG with me? I'm a fairly smart individual with far better things to do with my time! But one click and I'm sucked in.

Ok. I'm glad to have admitted my problem, and hoping that now that it's out there I'll be able to overcome my....awwwww.... look at this kitty picture!!! *clickclickclick*
Oct 30, 2008 in Style and Fashion
Together® Appliqué-inset...
I'm unsure what the problem is, but for some reason I can't bring myself to wear a turtle neck. I live in New Hampshire, where it's freakin' cold for 16 months a year... I see people wearing turtle necks (for good reason) quite often, but each time I see one I think "ew".

I think perhaps it's my lack of long neck that makes me squeamish, but honestly, I've never seen an attractive turtle neck. I'm not suggesting wearing a plunging v-neck neckline when it's 17 degrees below 0, but can't people wear scarves? Or perhaps a regular round neckline? Why stuff your head through a hole no bigger than a sleeve and think it looks good. And I don't care who you are, your hair is NOT going to survive the donning of a turtle neck under any circumstance.

The image above is from Newport News (not the best brand ever, but I adore most of their products) and is, IMO, re-pul-sive. Seriously...Bad enough to look like you're wearing a cast on your neck, and to have to walk around all day feeling like you're being strangled by a really, really weak midget, but to then add insult by adding that disgusting granny appliqué insert? UGH. Seems to me that in these modern times people would figure out that they don't need to dress like a ass to keep warm.

K.. my little vent is over. I could be wrong with my turtle neck opinion, and if you like wearing them... um... well ew, but I understand I guess.
Oct 22, 2008 in Style and Fashion
The Peggy Noland x MadeMe...
" The Peggy Noland x MadeMe Drop Crotch Legging in Purple & Gray
Leggings By MadeMe

(link)

One size fits most.

Shiny purple and gray drop crotch leggings with tapered leg and elastic high waist."


Seriously!??

Oh yes, Karmaloop is quite serious about this disaster.

95 dollars worth of serious. Yup.    Ninety.   Five.   Dollars.

I'm unsure what masochistic, body dismorphic crazy person would feel that they look sexy/cool/trendy/whathaveyou in this... but the fact that someone (obviously because they're on for sale on a reputable website) has shelled out $95.00 (PLUS SHIPPING) for possibly the most horrendous pair of leggings ever created scares the pants (ha) off me.

First off, to show that they are "drop crotch" (which in itself simply sounds like an uncomfortable STD) you would have to stand like the model in the picture. If not standing in this ridiculous pose, you'd simply appear to have a very large load of.. well.. something.. in your pants.

Secondly... can you imagine how uncomfortable this would be to walk around in? It has to feel much like wearing a thin, baggy diaper.

All I can say about this is that it's made by "MadeMe", and honestly, the only way these would ever be worn by most people I know is if someone "MadeThem" wear them by means of thumb screws and rubber hose beatings.

Ugh!!
Sep 8, 2008 in Home and Garden
My favorite thing (other than shopping) is being 'thrifty'. This can include trolling thrift shops, consignment shops, yard sales... or seeing something I like and being "crafty" and making it for my home.


Image One:
shows two of the things that I made on the cheap.

The large wall hanging over my bed I put together with a large $5 frame I found at a yard sale, 2 yards of clearance fabric stretched and stapled onto the frame, and some acrylic paint. Once the fabric was stretched I simply painted a branch and bird. I believe all together this probably cost me about $12 bucks. Not bad! It was cheap enough that come winter, I can simply change the fabric/image and redo the wall hanging to match my duvet cover.

Wall decals are all the rage, and a super easy/quick way to dress up your walls. (Especially if you tend to change styles often, or are an apartment dweller and can't paint) Rather than spending the money on what I wanted, I downloaded some bird stencils online, spent $5.95 on a huge roll of black Contact paper at Home Depot, printed/cut out the bird stencils and outlined them on the back of the Contact paper. Once the birds were cut out, putting them up on the wall was easy. Not only super cheap, but they are easily movable. (on a side note, not only did I make birds, I covered some old storage boxes that now look simply marvelous in my living room!)

Image Two: No money spent here. While walking outside I found a very interesting branch. Since I felt that my home was a bit cold, I thought maybe a wee bit of nature would warm up the place. I took an old brass coat hook, screwed it into the wall and hung the branch on it. Ultra cheap and always a conversation starter.

Image Three: I had an old wooden dresser sitting in my pantry for ages. I used it for.. well.. junk.  You know, stuff you don't want to toss out, but it really has no special place to be put away? Anyway... twas pretty beat up. Stained, slightly dirty... definitely ugly. Being bored one day I painted it a deep eggplant/plum color, printed out several Hindu art images I found online, used a stencil that had some interesting shapes, and decoupaged it onto the dresser. Once the images were firmly in place I glazed the entire dresser and went over the edges of the images with a gold paint pen. I did purchase the paint, and the paint pen, so I would estimate that this project cost me a total of $10.

What's the point? Basically that it's easy to get caught up in whats new and glamorous. Spending money, especially online, is easy and somewhat habit forming. I find it far more satisfying to make something myself, or hunt down good deals, or even revamp old pieces.... plus... it's fun.

Here's some links that may help you get some good ideas!

To purchase on the cheap:
www.shopgoodwill.com

To get Crafty ideas:
www.craftster.org
www.etsy.com

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