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* There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works. * A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light. * The programmer's national anthem is... See more » * There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works. * A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light. * The programmer's national anthem is 'AAAAAAAARRRRGHHHHH!!'. * At the source of every error which is blamed on the computer, you will find at least two human errors, including the error of blaming it on the computer. * Beta. Software undergoes beta testing shortly before it's released. Beta is Latin for "still doesn't work." * Computer analyst to programmer: "You start coding. I'll go find out what they want." * Computer Science: solving today's problems tomorrow. * Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS * Hit any user to continue. * I wish life had an UNDO function. * If your computer says, "Printer out of Paper," this problem cannot be resolved by continuously clicking the "OK" button. * It said "Insert disk 3..." but only 2 fit in the drive. * Microsoft Windows: computing While U Wait * 665.9238429876 - Number of the Pentium Beast * I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife. * My software never has bugs. It just develops random features. * Programming graphics in X is like finding sqrt(pi) using Roman numerals. * "To know recursion, you must first know recursion" * Life's unfair - but root password helps! * Mountain Dew and doughnuts... because breakfast is the most important meal of the day. * Hey! It compiles! Ship it! * "Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. * Intel: We put the "um..." in Pentium. * Helpdesk tip #2: When the support analyst says "Click...", wait for the rest of the sentence. * BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding * BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go! * As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing. * Disinformation is not as good as datinformation. * Smash forehead on keyboard to continue..... * Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue... * All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound? * A good programmer makes all the right mistakes. * Managing programmers is like herding cats. * "There is an old saying that if a million monkeys typed on a million keyboards for a million years, eventually all the works of Shakespeare would be produced. Now, thanks to Usenet, we know this is not true." * "A good programmer is someone who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street." * C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot. C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg. * A computer scientist is someone who, when told to "Go to Hell," sees the "go to," rather than the destination, as harmful. * 1010011010 - The binary number of the Beast * APATHY ERROR: Don't bother striking any key. Application has reported a "Not My Fault" in module KRNL.EXE in line 0200:103F * "The three most dangerous things in the world are a programmer with a soldering iron, a hardware type with a software patch and a user with an idea." See less »

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Computer Sayings

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