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The Used Suit

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pic nicked from here I have an upcoming appointment with my tailor. Though I am, as usual, giddy as a schoolgirl, my mind has turned to a different type of suit. The used suit. Though I will never call them “vintage” –that’s... See more » pic nicked from here I have an upcoming appointment with my tailor. Though I am, as usual, giddy as a schoolgirl, my mind has turned to a different type of suit. The used suit. Though I will never call them “vintage” –that’s pretentious bullshit– I have a deep and abiding love of the used suit. They’re affordable, can look great and offer an entry point into the sartorial for those who want to know more but can’t invest hundreds, let alone thousands, of dollars finding out. There is absolutely no shame in owning, wearing or loving a used suit. There is only shame in owning, wearing or loving an ugly suit. Beauty is beyond money. You might not guess it but I’m deeply frugal. I will spend $2000 on a suit but I usually spend $25. Curiously enough, the cheapest suits have been bespoke and the most expensive suits have been used. And I see you there, thinking cheap means bad and expensive means good. Well, clear that bourgeois nonsense from your mind, old chum. We’re not speaking that language. We’ll leave that language to the vulgar. When I say expensive, I mean that I bought a suit, didn’t like it and never wore it. Flushing even ten dollars on something that you dislike and never use is expensive. Spending a fortune on something you love and use is good value. It’s cheap. Good bespoke is cheap. Bad used is expensive. Even so, I work for a humble wage in a menial job and no matter how careful I am, I’ll never be able to afford more than one or two bespoke suits a year. Yet I must get dressed. To do so, I first learned how to steal a used suit, then I learned how to buy one; A task more difficult than having a suit built from scratch. For you lucky sons of bitches who are about to read past the jump, I’m about to drop some hard-won knowledge on you. The first rule is FIT. I cannot emphasize this enough. Fit needs a slogan. Such things have certainly popularized nonsense rules like “No brown in town” and “No white after Labour Day.” So here’s one: If it don’t fit, it ain’t shit. Used or new, there are only two basic types of suits. Bespoke and what needs to be altered. As for what needs to be altered, if it’s off the rack, it’s second hand. Whether its from Holts, Zelllers or Salvation Army, any off the rack suit was built for a different person than you. You’re wearing a mannequin’s hand-me-downs. So, before you turn your nose up at used suits, you need to ask yourself — Am I going to pay $1900 for second hand or $25? The answer should be obvious. But even when spending hundreds, men have a aversion to changing rooms. I share it. When spending thirty, no one will get you into one. But assessing fit can be done, quickly, easily and imperfectly. Try on the jacket. The sleeves should come to your wrist, the armholes should be in your armpits, the collar should hug the neck and the body should fit snugly around yours. Move around and listen for a ripping noise. That noise is a bad sign. If you hear it, quietly return the jacket to the rack. If someone else hears it, wave a hand around your buttocks and pretend to have farted. Generally, if the jacket fits, so will the trousers. You should know your waist size and check it. Then hold the trousers flat against your body to determine the length. Starting from your belt, they should touch your shoes. At this stage the fit does not require perfection. It just needs to be in the range of what your local tailor can alter. Err big but not too big and keep in mind that, having the armholes reduced will shorten the sleeve length. Chances are that the armholes will be a problem. They usually are. Now, I said the first rule is fit. And I stand by that. But you’re not going to go through all the racks trying everything on. So leave FIT until you find something you like and are deciding whether to buy it. No matter how much you like it, if it don’t fit, it ain’t shit. Just leave it for someone else. (Unless you’re in a “If I can’t have it,no one can” mood. I’m not above this. Occasionally, no one deserves that item except me and I’ll buy it just so they can’t have it. I’m sorry if my usual See less »

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The Used Suit

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